Tuesday, July 12, 2011

What do you think of the beginning of my story?

It's fantastic! Really good. The only part I don't like is the sentence, "She wished to find her cat again..." The tense seems off. Also, I don't think you need to editorialize by saying "Seven year old girls tended to believe in miracles." Say Sara believed in miracles, but don't step outside her point of view. Good work. Your brother will love it.

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